I have started a process that will end me up in college something I have been dreading.Because I am scared most of the time i feel so alone. Like I am just existing and doing nothing with my life and that it doesn't matter. My friends have there own live's and family's or at least those of my friends that live near by. My other friend I kinda have a crush on but because she is not looking for a relationship I will respect her wishes and be just a friend. That happens alot with me I can get girls to be my friend but i can't get the courage up to ask them out. I am so afriad of what will happen if i were to be left alone. I really wish i had died all those months ago but unfortunately I didn't I don't even know why I bother posting on this web site I should just delete it nobody ever responseds. Because I am not worth there time. And I know it.