I Sometimes feel the spirit and I don't know why

I do so many bad things and yet when I am reading about things crystal has wrote I feel over come by the spirit sometimes and I don't know what to do and the next thing I know I am writing something to her that when I read it I have no idea where it came from. What is going on this shouldn't be possible right. WHAT IS GOING ON ? THIS SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME.